No +opk for Christmas......

Well, at my u/s last Monday, my ovaries had decided they just didn't want to cooperate. I had lots of little bitty cysts, but no dominant follies. Not a one. So this cycle is cancelled, I'm on provera to end it & I'll be on bcp for one month to make sure my ovaries are calm before starting 7.5mg of femara in February. I was disappointed, but the Lord has taught me over the last 4 years to trust Him & his timing. I'm good! I will patiently wait for February &, in the meantime, I'm working out everyday & eating better! My goal is to lose 30lbs in the next 3 months! God Bless!

What a crazy week!!

Oh, My! I had a weird temp jump to 98.6 on Wed morning (that is definitely a post-O temp for me!), but it's back to normal pre-O temps today.....weird! I haven't had a +opk yet....I'm about to go poas right now, but am not holding my breath. No good CM yet either. I am having a TON of cramping, twinges, pinching around my ovaries, so I'm HOPING they are growing those follies like good little ovaries should! LOL! I scheduled another u/s for Monday since my opk this morning was -......we'll see what happens!

OT, my mom had her gallbladder taken out yesterday & is doing well! She's going home from the hospital today!

It's the same hospital the girls were born in & on our way in yesterday, we walked through L&D.....I almost started crying. I want SO badly to be wheeled back there one more time.....

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with
all joy and peace as you trust in Him,
so that you may overflow with hope
by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Lookin' good!!! ;o)

I had my follie u/s yesteray and I'm responding to the meds! I had a 7mm follie on my right side with a couple more not too far behind & about a 5mm sized one on my left side! YIKES! My dr said that they should continue to grow 2mm a day until they are about 20mm & then I should ovulate! So, we're looking at about a week! I can't BELIEVE it!! She said she wouldn't be surprised if my ovaries let go of 2 beautiful eggos! I'm kinda nervous about twins, but I'll take whatever the Lord sends me at this point!! LOL!

Off topic, my mom went to the ER last night & was admitted to the hospital. She'll be having her gallbladder out today or tomorrow, but she's on morphine now, so no more pain! I'll most likely be taking care of her for the next week or so and I'm praying that the Lord will give me the strength to make firm boundaries.

AF, AF, wherefore art thou, AF??!

I'm am PRAYING that AF won't be stubborn this go around!! LOL! In the past, she has made me wait for her for 14 days after ending provera & I'm REALLY hoping that isn't the case this time! I'd really like to have her come full force tomorrow! That would make my cd10 u/s a cd12 u/s & I'd like to have it done later since this summer I didn't O until cd18 & 22! We shall see. I'd take today too, if she was so inclined to rear her ugly head!

Today has been difficult. My mom called & left me a message, she didn't sound good so I called right back, without thinking. She wasn't feeling too well, & wanted me & the girls to come be with her. I'm not sure if I've shared this here, but I've shared so much, why not share this too! I have a co-dependent relationship with my mom. I've had it all my life & I've just realized it! 33 years of feeling guilty & angry & trapped & frustrated & guilty for feeling angry, trapped & frustrated. *sigh* It is a nasty, ugly cycle & it WILL end with me. I will not live this way anymore & I will not teach this to my children & I will not put my Darling through hell anymore! Anyway, I told my mom I couldn't see her today, which is the truth.....I'm not ready to see her, I have no idea what a healthy relationship even looks like with her, I have school to do with the girls, a set to paint at church, my house to clean on, our christmas tree to put up & AWANA to get ready for tomorrow night. Nope, no time to travel 45min one way to have lunch with her & be responsible, yet again, for making her happy. I hung up the phone & the WAVES of guilt tried to drown me. Darling called me from the car on his way to work & I just bawled. How is it that my mom still has this power over me? I'm 33 years old! I have a family of my own! I have a community & a church that I'm involved with & yet, with a single phone call, my mother can reduce me to a gelatinous lump.....quivering, crying, soggy. I'm not going to live this way anymore. I'm opening my heart to the Lord & begging him to pull out this HUGE weed/tree in my heart, as painful & agonizing as it is, and make me whole. Free. Peaceful. Complete.