YES!!! Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, YES!!!!

WooHoo!!! Ok, I'm SUPER excited! Got a call back from the insurance lady at my WLS's office and she already sent everything in to my insurance company!!! WooHoo!! We have to give them 15-30 days to respond, so anywhere from January 31st - February 15th! *sigh* This is going to be the LONGEST wait I've ever had in my LIFE!!! But it will be SO worth it! I'm ready! Ready for my first therapy session, I just got the book "Eating in the Light of the Moon" in the mail, so I'm going to start that tonight AND I'm ready for my approval phone call! Healthy me, here I come!!

I'll see if I can put a link to my YouTube channel on this site. I started a WLS vlog on YouTube and I'm really enjoying doing it! I won't post those videos here, so if you'd like to see them just look for the link to the right!

Therapy.....

Don't ya hate it when you type an entry and you publish it but it disappears instead?!!!! UGH!! Starting over....

I start therapy on Jan. 25th. I'm nervous, excited and sad. The psychologist I saw yesterday says I have some serious issues with my past (i.e. childhood), I agree. That I have some mild depression and that I'll do really well with therapy and will be able to learn some coping mechanisms so that I can live a much more productive, positive life! She believes the issues I've repressed from my childhood have caused my obesity and that with weight loss surgery and therapy I can be healthy inside and out! I'm so thankful that my Jesus has carried me through these last years and that he'll carry me through the next year as I heal physically and emotionally! Exciting and scary all at the same time! Pray for me! God Bless!

Almost done!!!

I made it through my second sleep study!! It was horrible.....that cpap machine made me feel like I was suffocating, but it's over!! Yippee!!! Tomorrow, I'm doing my psych eval and nutrion consult. They are the last 2 steps before getting approval from my insurance company! I can't even tell you how excited I am!!! I hope I can sleep tonight! WooHoo!!!!! VSG, here I come!! God Bless!

I made it!

I made it through my sleep study just fine! It was a pretty icky night of sleep, but I did sleep some! Today my sleep center called me and I have obstructive sleep apnea. I'm not gonna lie, it really surprised me and scared me. I've always just assumed that I was a fat person who was healthy. Not the case. So now I'm trying to wrap my mind around the sleep apnea AND I'm scheduled for a 2nd sleep study with a cpap machine TOMORROW evening! Wow. I figured the sooner, the better! Let's do this! LOL! Anyway, that's where we are! I'm a little emotional about it and I don't think I'll be able to really process this info for a few days, but I'm glad to know that I need VSG not only for my weight but because I do have at least 1 co-morbidity. God Bless!

I'm nervous.......

Ok, I have a bit of a confession to make. I'm NERVOUS! My sleep study will be taking place on Wednesday evening and I'm sick to my stomach I'm so nervous! I've been thinking and debating about WLS for years and to actually take the first step to DO IT....sheesh....I'm nervous. I know this is the best option for me, I've prayed countless hours over it, talked about it with my hubby....but I'm still nervous.

Reason #1 being that I don't usually sleep well without my Darling and to be in a strange bed with strangers watching and monitoring me while I sleep? Let's just say I'll be getting up at the crack of dawn on Wed and working out and doing as much around my house as possible to keep myself busy and make myself TIRED. I'm hoping this will do the trick!

Reason #2 is I'm nervous as all get out that I'm going to have sleep apnea! Right now, I can say that I have no known co-morbidities, the operative word being KNOWN. I have a nagging feeling that I DO have sleep apnea....now, that won't affect anything, I don't have to get a c-pap, and it won't postpone surgery, but just knowing that I'm not as healthy as I thought I was (Ok, I know I'm in denial about my weight being a HUGE health concern!!)...it just scares me. Obviously, I'm pretty good at stuffing fear, anger, hurt, etc. deep inside with food and, after Wednesday, no amount of food will be able to cover the truth of that test. I'm beginning to deal with it....really!

Reason #3 is that I have serious issues with control....the Lord has been working to pull all those control weeds out of the garden of my heart for a L-O-N-G time. *sigh* Sadly for both of us, I don't let go of things easily, so this has been a very hard reality to recognize and let go of. I'm NOT going to be in control of the test or the results....I'm just in charge of making myself go to sleep. These strangers get to see me drool, snore, talk in my sleep, toss and turn (because I'm in pain ALL-THE-TIME, even while sleeping) and what ever else I do in my sleep that I'm not aware of! I keep praying.."Dear God, please let me be the most BORING sleep study patient this clinic has EVER seen!!!"

So, I'm spending a lot of time in prayer this week, praying for continued peace, wisdom to let go of "the small stuff" and for some excitement! I'm really, truly beginning the greatest adventure of my LIFE!!! I can say today for the first time...."I'm having weight loss surgery THIS YEAR!!!" Welcome 2011!! I know that my awesome God has an incredible year in store for me!! God Bless!