I won't lie.....

I won't lie....these last almost 5 years of ttc#3 have been HARD. I was on FF tonight (Darling is working late) and dared to venture over to the Pregnancy side and saw a post of a woman who shared a 9 week u/s pic. I just started crying (still am) and realized just how badly I want to experience that again. I want it so much my heart feels like it could explode. I really want this cycle to work....I really want my body to work. My mind went rushing back to the first time I heard my DD#1's heartbeat, my dr used the doppler, there were loud static sounds and all of a sudden....Woosh-Woosh-Woosh......I started laughing!! I was SO happy!! That was OUR baby....growing, living inside ME! My dr said she'd never had a mom laugh before...lots of crying, but no laughing!! I couldn't contain the joy I felt & it just came pouring out of me in fits of giggles every time she'd find my sweet girl's heartbeat! I can't WAIT to hear that sweet sound, see that little lima bean, feel those kicks & flutters. I'm believing that I WILL experience it all....one more time.